A Restless Obsession

Kimchi fried rice was probably the most delicious thing I've ever eaten in a long long time. Little sour bits of cabbage that just melt in your mouth leaving a tangy tingly taste that's somehow still sweet. The rice fragant from butter and dashi comes off in a sticky clump when you pick it up with your chopsticks. And the neo-classical addition of the sunny-side-up, with the yolk still runny is pure harmony. These are my days: sour and sweet, spicy and sticky.

Still, the memories of beautiful egg sandwiches with thin slices of cucumber and tomatoes between delicately margarined sunshine bread, haunt my heart together with so many other moments I try not to remember. Riding with Charcoal in the car, sloppy tongue poking out of his happy mouth; until he gets restless and I have to deal with his toenails sticking into my lap. Holding soft tiny hands along that star-pier place in HK; and a soft tiny nose that feels cold against my palm. 8:04 am calls that precede 8:11 am pick-ups below my house to go to work. Too, memories of begging and crying and kneeling on the floor. Both of us. I remember other things. I was bbq-ing in the carpark when she came to wish me happy birthday. Or reminiscing the first time we met. And Orange pekoe tea.

I wonder how many entries like this will I have when I go eventually. Entries of sorry, of alternate paths that could have gone no other way. I love my Kimchi fried rice, but Molluex Chocolat just doesn't feel the same with somebody else.

Watashiwa Sabishi desu. Totemo Sabishi.