In the Fantastical forest
Back to Singapore, back to reality with a huge pile of work that is thankfully is reducing. But the admin bitch of bidding and chooses courses to bid for still lurks at the back of my head, never letting up even when I tell myself I'll cross the bridge when I get to it. Just have to realise God is still in control. My situation is like being in a spin cycle, and I'm constantly trying to get into the centre of it where it is still, but I'm always being tossed about and tossed about again even before I can try to stand up.
Thailand was supposed to be a respite, but there I found an even more ironic source of peace. Escapism - the tendancy to seek distraction and relief from unplesant realities. My fantastical life in Thailand is following me home. I do not know if that is a good thing or bad. Weed shots, popass and swimming in the sea at 3 in the morning. These are things you can easily put behind. But to bring home someone's heart as a souvenir, I do not know if it's the right thing to do. It's like Weili plucking SPS in Phuket. Just that I'm not sure if this pretty coral will repair herself eventually.
The world is full of all sorts of people, and I've been living liike a frog in the well. Contented with the Char Kway Teow that grows on the slimy walls. Not that the grub is bad in the isolated recesses of my isolated life is bad, but something that I learnt, I believe still holds true for most things - new and meaningful experiences are worth getting out of your seat for. That constant adrenaline from taking a chance at something new is an addictive drug. Getting water and burning weed in my lungs is not a pleasant experience I assure you. and just once is enough. But the risk pays off for most things, Mama nam at a Karaoke coffee shop along a dark stretch of Lad prao at 1 in the morning, or taking the first step to ask for someone's name.
Skanky girls are everywhere, along with white-whorshippers, and many a time, both are the same. But once in a while, you meet someone brilliant, concious, compassionate, who just makes you go "Wow, that's so cool." People with big hearts, people with voices and stories that when you close your eyes and listen to them, you can't tell what is the colour of their skin or eyes, or have your own heart perjudiced against them. People who make you feel small, yet inspired to do the same. Russell Peters said "People often trouble themselves with things that would never affect their lives." But I suppose that dying dolphins do affect some people. Just as much as working girls who were sold out when they were ten, have 2 children to feed (the boy called Nat and the girl called Nip), has no education or technical skills, and have little avenues to provide for themselves. Always boils down to "What is a viable alternative?" anyway. Hard to draw the line and even harder to say who's to blame. Not always is the customer some red face, pot-bellied, balding guy with man breasts rubbing against his silk shirt, which makes me wonder what kind of guy would do something like that? But then again. It's fair trade, and fair game. But "fair" is also hard to define isn't?
"Why would she choose me?" and the answer from any female will never satisfy the narrow male mind. "Because she just likes you." or "Because you're my guy". I am male and accountant type. Please explain to me in point form. I would think even JB has trouble breaking this one down. Everything rushes to the front of my head when I attempt the slightest thought into the future. I'm too young, too far, too different. Love conquers all? I am little tired to try and believe that after my last fiasco. I can tell you all the answers but I"m too far away for my faith to make a decent connection.
People like to believe that their situation is special. It's unique. That's why the "Soulmate" thing sells. Is there really that one person? I don't know for sure. She's like me, for sure. The way we think, and the things we value and believe in. The things we like and the facial wash we use. The way we would run a business and the attitude towards work are the same. So same-same it scares me. If I was 7 years older, Japanese-korean and female maybe I'd be her. But having the same value system doesn't mean that we're soulmates? But oh everything I wanted in a woman, she is. Of course, there's the dark side that I haven't seen. And I believe it's gonna be dark. Dark - reminds me of a chinese expression, "a dark cloud so big that it seems to be able to crush a city into a thousand fragments" (a prize for the one who knows the expression).
Spin cycle, or dark city. It's the same, just like Bangkok, a place of spinning grey. A dark cloud is looming over, and yet she's my silver lining. Somehow, I have this feeling that it's going to rain soon.
I just hope it will be soon -
I look forward to the "clear sky after the rain."
Thailand was supposed to be a respite, but there I found an even more ironic source of peace. Escapism - the tendancy to seek distraction and relief from unplesant realities. My fantastical life in Thailand is following me home. I do not know if that is a good thing or bad. Weed shots, popass and swimming in the sea at 3 in the morning. These are things you can easily put behind. But to bring home someone's heart as a souvenir, I do not know if it's the right thing to do. It's like Weili plucking SPS in Phuket. Just that I'm not sure if this pretty coral will repair herself eventually.
The world is full of all sorts of people, and I've been living liike a frog in the well. Contented with the Char Kway Teow that grows on the slimy walls. Not that the grub is bad in the isolated recesses of my isolated life is bad, but something that I learnt, I believe still holds true for most things - new and meaningful experiences are worth getting out of your seat for. That constant adrenaline from taking a chance at something new is an addictive drug. Getting water and burning weed in my lungs is not a pleasant experience I assure you. and just once is enough. But the risk pays off for most things, Mama nam at a Karaoke coffee shop along a dark stretch of Lad prao at 1 in the morning, or taking the first step to ask for someone's name.
Skanky girls are everywhere, along with white-whorshippers, and many a time, both are the same. But once in a while, you meet someone brilliant, concious, compassionate, who just makes you go "Wow, that's so cool." People with big hearts, people with voices and stories that when you close your eyes and listen to them, you can't tell what is the colour of their skin or eyes, or have your own heart perjudiced against them. People who make you feel small, yet inspired to do the same. Russell Peters said "People often trouble themselves with things that would never affect their lives." But I suppose that dying dolphins do affect some people. Just as much as working girls who were sold out when they were ten, have 2 children to feed (the boy called Nat and the girl called Nip), has no education or technical skills, and have little avenues to provide for themselves. Always boils down to "What is a viable alternative?" anyway. Hard to draw the line and even harder to say who's to blame. Not always is the customer some red face, pot-bellied, balding guy with man breasts rubbing against his silk shirt, which makes me wonder what kind of guy would do something like that? But then again. It's fair trade, and fair game. But "fair" is also hard to define isn't?
"Why would she choose me?" and the answer from any female will never satisfy the narrow male mind. "Because she just likes you." or "Because you're my guy". I am male and accountant type. Please explain to me in point form. I would think even JB has trouble breaking this one down. Everything rushes to the front of my head when I attempt the slightest thought into the future. I'm too young, too far, too different. Love conquers all? I am little tired to try and believe that after my last fiasco. I can tell you all the answers but I"m too far away for my faith to make a decent connection.
People like to believe that their situation is special. It's unique. That's why the "Soulmate" thing sells. Is there really that one person? I don't know for sure. She's like me, for sure. The way we think, and the things we value and believe in. The things we like and the facial wash we use. The way we would run a business and the attitude towards work are the same. So same-same it scares me. If I was 7 years older, Japanese-korean and female maybe I'd be her. But having the same value system doesn't mean that we're soulmates? But oh everything I wanted in a woman, she is. Of course, there's the dark side that I haven't seen. And I believe it's gonna be dark. Dark - reminds me of a chinese expression, "a dark cloud so big that it seems to be able to crush a city into a thousand fragments" (a prize for the one who knows the expression).
Spin cycle, or dark city. It's the same, just like Bangkok, a place of spinning grey. A dark cloud is looming over, and yet she's my silver lining. Somehow, I have this feeling that it's going to rain soon.
I just hope it will be soon -
I look forward to the "clear sky after the rain."
posted by The Guinea Pig at 6:12 AM
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